Feral fennel softens the roadsides of my neighborhood, and something that looks a lot like scraggly kale clings to the rocky seawall. I'm getting into the groove of things at work. Yesterday evening I was sick and fell asleep facedown on the floor after lurching around the house looking intermittently like a pufferfish. Tonight, I watered the garden and put the house back in order. It has been windy lately. I've been trying to wear office appropriate clothes, and by the time I get to work my hair has been completely restyled by the elements. Oh well. Mostly it has felt like I've been walking into the wind, but it shifted the other day and was at my back, gently pushing me along.
I kind of love these sunny mornings, but I also don't quite know what to do with them and worry that I might be wasting them on sitting, drinking coffee and catching up with myself. But time enjoyed is never truly wasted, this I have decided. If I were in Nelson now, or anywhere really, I'd be doing the same thing but on the coffee shop patio, hopefully coming across friends doing the same, instead of at home. I like the idea of being outside, of going for walks to explore and discover, but the need to get ready to work after lunch pulls me in like a leash. Also, I like this neighborhood but it's edged by industry, busy roads and unkempt apartments. These things are all fine, I suppose, but what I want in a walk is to end up alone in nature, listening to the wind play through tree branches and water lapping shore. To sit still until birds appear from underbrush and my heartbeat harmonizes with the forest. This is the most 'city' that we've ever lived, and I like our house, I like our garden, I love going downtown for food and fun things, but I don't know where to go when I want to get away for a morning. All the quiet spots are a decent drive's distance. Sometimes I go to the ocean's edge, to a paved pathway buzzing with joggers and strollers, seniors and bicycles, and walk slowly when I have a stretch to myself. Maybe it's because I know the beaches and hills outside of town as well as any street of my childhood that I find it easier to breathe surrounded by trees than by people.